Probably the absolute freakiest holiday song you will ever hear.

Who needs sugarplums, when you can have visions of sodomized Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles dancing through your head?

Mix up the spirit of Elvis, Rastafarian beliefs, a dash of Jimmy Paige and a reference to Vegas, now that's a Christmas carol.

Most likely the coolest instumental version of this class, ever. Plus, that means YOU get to do the singing.

How often do you get to hear Santa described as "the snack maurader from the Arctic Circle"?

It's like the Audio Ghost Of Christmas Past. Who can't relate to "Every year we decorate the tree with old beer cans/'cause they're the only ornaments we have?"

Raucous shouts of "We wanna wish you a Merry Christmas" invigorate all of us with holiday cheer. Hope it does the same for you.

Sorry, but it's just impossible for us to put together a favorites list without making sure the 'Suckers are duely represented.

Oh yeah! These special kids make us want to get liquored up and go caroling!

The very line "We'll decorate a barstool/and stand around and sing" makes the flick "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" a victory for boozehounds the world over.

It takes a sassy girl-group to explain why the big guy spends so much time with the elves... "Santa doesn't get it at night."

"If this sled is rockin' don't bother knockin'" can be such a lovely Christmas sentiment, don't you think?

Don we now our gay apparel... especially those deluxe red leather buttless chaps. Hot. Red hot.

The parallels between Santa and Satan are uncanny. Both wear red. Both have names with the letters N, S, T and two As. Have you ever seen the in the same place at the same time?